During the teenage years, teens explore their identities by establishing a sense of autonomy and independence. They may struggle with their emotions, relationships, peers, or societal expectations, greatly impacting because of their self-esteem. Childhood experiences, such as being attention-deprived, might interfere with how teens perceive themselves, or they may compare themselves to others, specifically at this age. As a parent it’s often difficult to know How To Help a Teenager With Low Self Esteem, parents must first understand the causes of their behavior, and then choose the right treatment programs for teens with low self esteem.
What is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem refers to a person’s overall worth of themselves. It encompasses their beliefs, feelings, and attitudes. It can influence how they think, feel, and behave in different situations. Self-esteem can be seen as a broad construct that covers many aspects of a person, including self-respect, self-confidence, self-worth, and self-image.
Self-respect
Self-respect refers to the level of honor teens have for themselves, their values, and their principles. It involves treating themselves with respect and maintaining boundaries that promote integrity. If teens have self-respect, they’ll be firm in creating and establishing healthy boundaries with other people.
Self-Confidence
Self-confidence means having a sense of self-assurance and courage to take risks and challenges even with the uncertainty that comes with it. Teens who have built self-confidence through the years have a higher chance of making the best decisions.
Self-Worth
Self-worth can be achieved even without the influence of personal achievements, appearance, or social status. It only involves a sense of self-love and self-acceptance without depending on external factors. Teens need to acknowledge their self-worth to fully accept themselves for who they are and not how others perceive them.
Self-Image
Self-image, defined by Berkeley Well Being Institute, pertains to a person’s perception of themselves, such as their physical appearance, personality, and characteristics. The self-image of teens is greatly influenced by their friends, experiences, family, and social constructs.
Cause of Low Self-Esteem in Teens
Various factors, including negative influences, perfectionism, bullying, and teen ptsd trauma can cause low self-esteem in teens. These factors can contribute to feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, and insecurity in teenagers.
Negativism
Negativism is cynicism from unsupportive family and peers, teens feel like they are not good enough. Once teens feel that their parents and friends are uninterested and unsupportive of their achievements, they doubt their abilities.
Perfectionism
When teenagers set unrealistic expectations for themselves and aren’t able to meet them, they get disappointed. They often get frustrated because they did not achieve what they wanted. The more they think everything they do must happen according to their plan, the more their self-esteem decreases with the failures.
Bullying
Being bullied by peers or experiencing cyberbullying can profoundly impact a teenager’s self-esteem. Once they feel belittled and humiliated by other people, especially their circle of friends, they will feel down and worthless. They will criticize themselves, thinking that they are the problem.
Trauma
Experiencing traumatic events, such as verbal or physical abuse, neglect, or the loss of a loved one, can impact a teenager’s self-esteem. It leads to feelings of fear, vulnerability, and low self-worth. Moreover, if they’ve been on the receiving side, they might not have enough confidence to talk to others.
Difficulty Forming and Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Effects of Low Self-Esteem on Teenagers
Low self-esteem can significantly affect, including social isolation in adolescence, lack of confidence, poor academic performance, anxiety, depression, and increased risk-taking behaviors such as teen substance abuse or teen self-harm. These effects can have long-term consequences, impacting a teenager’s mental health, relationships, and future success.
Academic Performance
Regarding academic performance, teens with low self-esteem may struggle to concentrate, stay motivated, and be positive toward learning. Consequently, teens show poor grades, missed assignments, failed examinations, and difficulty in completing tasks.
Social Relationships
Teens may also struggle to make friends or maintain healthy relationships because they either feel shy or feel isolated and excluded from their peers. This can lead to feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety.
Mental Health
Low self-esteem can also contribute to developing teen mental health disorders such as teen depression, anxiety disorders in teens, and teenage eating disorders. Teenagers with low self-esteem may also experience negative thoughts and feelings about themselves, leading to a lack of confidence, self-doubt, and a negative self-image. Understanding 5 ways on how to get over depression can be beneficial in addressing these challenges.
Physical Health
Teenagers who lack self-esteem may engage in risky behaviors such as substance abuse or self-harm. Additionally, they may neglect their physical health, such as not eating at all times or not exercising regularly, leading to physical health problems such as obesity or chronic illness.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem in Teens
Teenagers with low self-esteem are most likely to have negative thoughts regarding their worth. Some noticeable signs that your teen is experiencing low self-esteem include:
Negative Self-Talk
Teenagers with low self-esteem may engage in negative self-talk, putting themselves down and highlighting their perceived weaknesses.
Avoidance of Challenges
Teens with low self-esteem may avoid challenges, fearing failure or rejection, and feel like they are not good enough even if they did their best.
Overly Critical of Self
Teens with low self-esteem may be overly critical of themselves and their actions, leading to a negative self-image and self-doubt.
Anxiety or Depression
Low self-esteem can contribute to the development of teenagers depression or anxiety. Teens may feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or worthless, negatively impacting their mental health.
Impact of Social Media on Teen Self-Esteem
Social media has become an integral part of our lives, especially for teenagers who are the most active users of these platforms. While social media can be an excellent way to connect with friends, family, and the world, it can also significantly impact a teenager’s self-esteem. The constant comparison, pressure to present an ideal image, and fear of missing out can cause a downward spiral in a teen’s self-esteem.
Understanding the Relationship between Social Media and Self-Esteem
The relationship between social media and self-esteem is complex and multifaceted. Even though social media platforms can provide teenagers with a sense of validation and social support, positively impacting self-esteem, they can still lead to negativity and feelings of inadequacy, particularly when individuals engage in social comparisons and cyberbullying.
Comparison Traps
One of the most threatening risks of social media is the tendency of teens to compare themselves to others. Social media is full of images and stories of people who seem to have it all, from Instagrammable photos to ideal jobs and relationships. However, this curated image is often far from reality. It leads to a comparison trap where teens judge themselves based on the unrealistic standards posed by social media.
Cyberbullying
Another significant concern regarding social media and self-esteem is the possibility of cyberbullying. Cyberbullying refers to any form of harassment or bullying that takes place online. It can severely affect one’s self-esteem, confidence, and mental health.
Social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok have become breeding grounds for trolls and online bullies, who can hide behind the anonymity of the internet to harass, intimidate, and threaten others. Teenagers who may be victims of cyberbullying may experience depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem as a result of the constant attacks.
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
Another potential danger of social media is the fear of missing out (FOMO). Social media often presents an idealized reality, with people posting their most exciting experiences, photos, travels, vacations, and personal achievements. It can create a sense of pressure to keep up and participate in every social activity that makes them feel left behind.
FOMO can also lead to teenage isolation and loneliness, as teenagers may feel excluded from social events and activities.
Online Validation
Social media can create a culture of online validation, approval, and affirmation through likes, comments, and the number of followers. While receiving positive feedback and recognition from others can be satisfying, it can still lead to dependence on external validation. Hence, teenagers may need to constantly seek validation and approval from others, increasing the chance of being highly insecure.
Strategies to Help Teens Manage Social Media
Social media can be a powerful tool for teenagers to connect with their peers, explore their interests, and express themselves. However, the detrimental effects of social media on teen mental health are evident as it can also contribute to stress, anxiety, and negative self-image. As parents, it is important to help teens navigate the complex world of social media and develop healthy habits that promote positive mental health and well-being. Here are some strategies to help teens manage social media:
Encouraging Digital Detoxes
One of the most effective ways to help teens manage social media is by encouraging digital detoxes. This means taking a break from social media and refraining from using any form of technology. Parents may encourage teens to read, exercise, do household chores, learn new hobbies, or spend time with friends to avoid the negativity brought by social media.
Setting Boundaries
Setting limits on social media usage, such as only allowing a certain amount of time per day, will help teens. As parents, you may create a schedule per day that entails their social media boundaries. That way, they can reduce feelings of anxiety.
Building Positive Online Communities
Connecting with peers who share the same interests and values and promoting positivity and inclusivity is one step towards having a positive outlook in life. With this, parents can help teens identify and join positive online communities, such as Goodreads for teens who love to read, Meetup to make new friends, and Discord to join servers, where they can build positive interactions.
Encouraging Offline Interactions
Even if social media helps teens connect with others, it is still essential for teens to have meaningful offline connections as well. Encourage your teens to spend time with friends and family, allow them to engage in hobbies that interest them, and make them participate in organizations they want to participate in. It will help them acquire a sense of purpose and personal growth beyond their online presence.
Tips For Parents on How to Help Teens Improve Social Skills
Teens have to communicate and interact effectively with others, whether in school or in a neighborhood. With improved social skills for teens, there comes more confidence in behaviors, such as looking someone in the eye, having a conversation, resolving a conflict, and showing empathy for another person. By helping a teenager learn and practice social skills, Parents can help the teens to achieve their own goals and dreams for the future.
#1 Building Positive Relationships
Parents may advise teens to participate in school clubs, sports teams, or social groups where they can foster positive relationships and mature interactions. Let them be a member of groups where their hobbies and interests are being tackled. Make them lead and handle the group members so they can continue building their social skills and self-esteem.
#2 Developing Empathy
Parents may remind teens to always put themselves in the shoes of others before saying negative or mean words. Also, encourage them to consider their feelings and perspectives before doing something out of hand. It can help them better understand other people’s emotions and experiences. As a result, they will know how to approach and respond calmly yet positively.
#3 Improving Communication Skills
Parents may encourage teens to practice active listening, eye contact, and politeness when conversing with others. Help them express their thoughts well and constructively so the words coming out of their mouth don’t come off as offensive or inappropriate.
#4 Resolving Conflicts Effectively
Conflicts cannot be avoided as they are a natural part of every relationship with people. The only thing that matters is how teens can handle it. It is where the role of parents usually comes in. Parents may motivate them to have an open mind when dealing with conflicts. You may also tell them that conflicts can be resolved without resorting to inappropriate behavior, such as shouting, fighting, and being verbally aggressive. Remind them that respectfully communicating their needs is mutually beneficial for both parties.
#5 Encouraging Participation in Extracurricular Activities
Encourage your teens to participate in extracurricular activities such as educational clubs, community service, student government, sports, theater, or music groups. These activities provide opportunities for teens to work as a team, cooperate with members of the group, and develop leadership skills. This kind of socialization can help them improve their social skills through collaboration and healthy connections.
#6 Providing Opportunities for Social Interaction
Social interaction is one key component for the improvement of social skills. To allow this to happen, parents can help. Parents may supervise teens in organizing social events like outreach programs, movie nights for organization members, game nights in schools, or sports leagues for the community. This social interaction will enable them to enhance their analytical, problem-solving, and listening skills.
#7 Teaching Assertiveness Skills
One of the best ways to teach teens assertiveness skills is to be the first one to do it. Start being assertive by respectfully responding and maintaining a positive attitude toward your teens. If they see that you, as a parent, use wise words that are clear, respectful, honest, and confident, they will adopt the pattern and apply it when they communicate with their peers, classmates, or educators.
#8 Helping Teens Develop Social Goals
Sometimes, teens have social goals in their minds but don’t know how to make it happen possibly. Parents may help them by asking what they want to achieve regarding socializing. Is it to make new friends, be part of a team, or do they just want to improve their communication skills? These kinds of questions may help. Providing support along the way is easy if parents can have honest communication with their teens and understand what they want to work on.
Addressing Teens’ Academic Challenges Through These Parenting Tips
Academic performance is also affected by teenagers’ self-esteem. For example, when teens feel good about themselves, they are most likely motivated to learn and participate in classroom lectures. However, if they feel overwhelmed and not confident, they might be unable to do well in school, which, if lingered on, can cause serious repercussions on self-esteem and academic performance.
Parents must remember that every teen is different, so it’s important to be patient and supportive in finding the perfect way to support teens. For example, parents may hire tutors if teens struggle with specific subjects like math, science, and English. Peer-to-peer discussions may also be an option. With that setup, teens and their classmates could have collaborative learning and mutual understanding.
If your teen has trouble in school, you may notice some warning signs, such as poor grades, low motivation, or frequent complaints. These are not signs that your teen is lazy or rebellious but that they struggle academically and need your support. Instead of getting angry or frustrated with your teen, you can take charge and help them overcome their challenges with the following tips:
1. Improve Self-Efficacy
One academic challenge that is difficult to maintain is self-efficacy. Self-efficacy refers to a teen’s belief in their ability to achieve their goals. Studies have shown that self-efficacy is a meaningful supporting aspect of learning. It shows that students with high self-efficacy will believe they can accomplish tasks even with their difficulty, whereas students with low self-efficacy will think that tasks are overwhelming and won’t be able to accomplish them. When teens experience low self-efficacy, parents may help through encouragement and positive reinforcement. It may come as compliments, praise, simple treats, or pats on the back.
2. Motivate Your Demotivated Teen
Teens who are demotivated may need more motivation to complete schoolwork on time. They may also need more focus and engagement in terms of learning. As parents, this may be a hard situation to deal with. However, there is still a way. One helpful way is to tell them the importance of education and how it would greatly help when they go to college. Make them understand the possible consequences of persistent poor academic performance, such as discontinuation of scholarship or no job opportunity in the future.
3. Help Them In Goal-Setting
Goal-setting is also an academic challenge for teens. When there are no clear goals, they become inefficient. Hence, parents must guide the teens so that their goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. Parents may help break down teens’ goals into smaller ones so they can prioritize.
For instance, if teens aim to graduate with flying colors, they may first break it into more achievable goals, such as getting into the school’s semester rankings. That way, they can achieve what they want in the future, and their self-esteem won’t be affected.
Setting realistic goals can help address academic challenges. When goals are realistic, it is easy to achieve. For example, if teens struggle in math or science subjects, a realistic goal such as improving the grade by one to two digits in the next semester can help. This goal is specific and measurable. If teens set these kinds of goals, they can track their progress and improvements. As a result, they can build confidence in their ability to achieve academic success.
4. Foster The Study Skills
Not-so-well-established study skills may also lead to poor academic performance. If teens are greatly affected by their inefficient study skills, they will have low self-esteem. However, parents may still prevent this by providing teens with improved study skills that may now work for them. Parents may encourage using note-taking apps such as Notion, time management sites such as Forest, and test-taking platforms like Quizlet or Quizizz to improve their study skills.
5. Encouraging a Growth Mindset
A growth mindset believes abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work, dedication, and learning from mistakes. If parents can instil this into their teenagers’ minds, they will adopt the growth mindset and overcome academic challenges. Teens will be able to see their mistakes as an opportunity to learn and not commit them again. If they develop a growth mindset, they won’t have time to think they are incapable or less worthy.
Treatment Options for Teen Low Self-Esteem
When it comes to addressing teen low self-esteem, various treatment options are available. The choice of treatment will depend on the specific symptoms and needs of the individual. Here are some common symptoms of low self-esteem in teens and corresponding treatment options:
CBT for Negative Self-Talk and Self-Criticism
Teens who engage in negative self-talk and self-criticism can benefit from therapies like teen cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps teens identify and challenge negative thought patterns, replacing them with more realistic and positive beliefs about themselves.
Group Therapy for Social Withdrawal and Isolation
For teens experiencing social withdrawal and isolation, adolescent group therapy can be an effective treatment option. Group therapy provides a supportive environment where teens can connect with others who share similar experiences, learn social skills, and receive peer validation and support.
ACT for Body Image Issues
Teens struggling with body image issues can benefit from therapies focusing on self-acceptance and body positivity. Therapies such as (ACT) acceptance and commitment therapy for teens can help them explore their feelings, challenge unrealistic beauty ideals, and develop healthier relationships with their bodies.
Academic Assistance Programs for Academic Difficulties
Teens whose low self-esteem is linked to academic struggles may benefit from academic assistance programs. These programs provide educational support, tutoring and help teens develop effective study skills and time management techniques.
Dual Treatment Plan for Co-occurring Mental Health Disorders
If low self-esteem is accompanied by other mental health disorders, such as depression or anxiety, comprehensive treatment that addresses both conditions is essential. This may involve a combination of therapy modalities, provided at a higher level of therapy like a teen residential treatment center, which provides your child with 24/7 support, medication management, and holistic approaches like mindfulness or yoga therapy.
It’s important to note that the treatment approach should be tailored to each individual’s specific needs. A comprehensive assessment by a mental health professional can help determine the most appropriate treatment options based on the symptoms and severity of low self-esteem.
Remember, seeking professional help, and early intervention can make a significant difference in improving teen self-esteem and promoting overall well-being. The ultimate goal is to help teens develop a positive self-concept, build resilience, and confidently navigate adolescence’s challenges.
Conclusion
In conclusion, lack of self-esteem is a common problem among teens that can affect their social and academic performance. However, there are many ways to help teens boost their confidence and feel good about themselves. Some of the strategies that can help teens improve their self-esteem are:
- Being with people who treat them well and support them
- Challenging their inner critic and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones
- Praising their effort instead of their outcome and celebrating their achievements
- Teaching them assertiveness skills and how to speak up for themselves
- Encouraging them to try new things and learn from their mistakes
- Volunteering for a cause they care about and giving back to others
- Making wise decisions and owning their opinions
These steps can help teens develop a healthy sense of self-worth and cope better with the challenges of adolescence.
However, if a teen is still struggling with low self-esteem and shows signs of depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues, they may need professional help.
Key Healthcare’s residential treatment center for teens can provide intensive and personalized care and opportunities for social and emotional growth. In residential treatment, teens live in a therapeutic environment with trained staff and peers with similar challenges. Residential treatment offers a range of effective modalities such as teen cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy for teens, teen group therapy, recreational activities, and academic assistance, all provided within a single residential setting. The primary goal of these comprehensive programs is to support teens in overcoming low self-esteem and cultivating a positive sense of self.
The dedicated staff and professionals within these residential settings are committed to helping teens thrive and develop the confidence they need to navigate life with a strong and positive self-image.
Learn more about Residential Treatment for Teens in this ultimate guide.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I tell if my teenager is struggling with low self-esteem?
Teenagers with no social life struggling with self-esteem may show signs of negative self-talk or constantly putting themselves down, avoidance of challenges or fear of failure, being overly critical of themselves or doubting their capabilities, and feeling unworthy at all times.
What are the common causes of low self-esteem in teenagers?
Low self-esteem in teenagers can be caused by various factors, including negative influences, perfectionism, bullying, trauma, and PTSD in teens. These factors can contribute to feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, and insecurity.
Can low self-esteem impact academic performance?
Yes. They are related to one another. Teens with low self-esteem often do not have clear academic goals, they also have low self-efficacy which lowers the chance of accomplishing tasks. They may also lack motivation as they see things negatively.
How can I help my teenager improve their self-esteem?
As parents, you may help your teens improve their self-esteem in various ways. First, encourage the practice of positive thinking for teens, which involves focusing on their strengths and accomplishments rather than comparing their progress with other people of their age. Second, let them understand that each individual develops at their own pace. Third, remind them that making mistakes is a part of learning and growing, and it does not diminish their worth as a person.
What are some signs that my teenager is struggling with social skills?
Inconsistent eye contact, inappropriate body language, and the inability to take turns when communicating are signs that teenagers struggle with social skills. It may happen because they feel shy, uninterested, and unconfident when facing or talking to others.
How can I help my teenager improve their social skills?
Parents may help teenagers improve social skills in several ways. First, parents may encourage teens to participate in extracurricular activities such as school organizations. Second, parents may involve themselves in organizing social events for their teens. Third, parents should be the first person to be assertive so that teens can adopt. Lastly, parents can help identify teens’ social goals to help them achieve them.
Is social media impacting my teenager’s self-esteem and academic performance?
Yes. When exposed to social media, teens tend to compare themselves to other teenagers’ social life and academic achievement. Their self-esteem lowers when they think they are not achieving the same things and falling behind.
What are the benefits of participating in extracurricular activities for teenagers?
Extracurricular activities help a lot in teenage students’ development. When they participate in extracurricular activities, they allow themselves to learn new skills, make new friends, and experience fun.
How can I support my teenager with academic challenges?
One way to support your teenager with academic challenges is to provide them with ways to overcome their difficulties. For example, if they struggle with time management, you can provide a planner or calendar of events to help them stay organized.
You may hire a proficient tutor if they need help understanding hard subjects like Math or Science. If they need clarification on certain topics, you may ask their teachers for extra time to discuss it again or provide other learning materials so they can practice.
What are some common academic challenges that teenagers face?
Some of the academic challenges that teenagers face are poor time management, procrastination, lack of motivation, digital distractions, academic pressure, and learning disabilities.
How can I encourage my teenager to set and achieve academic goals?
Have an open conversation with them about the academic goals that they want to achieve and ask them how you can offer help. If they are already clear with their goals, regularly check their progress.
Are there any books or resources that can help me support my teenager’s self-esteem and academic performance?
In terms of supporting your teenager’s self-esteem and academic performance, books such as The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens and Mindset: The New Psychology of Success may be utilized. These books share advice and strategies to build confidence, improve communication skills, and develop a growth mindset.
When should I consider seeking professional help for my teenager’s low self-esteem or academic struggles?
Observe your teenager. If they constantly put themselves down, isolate themselves daily, or do self-harm, it may already be the time to seek help from mental health professionals. They can provide programs that can help teenagers build their self-confidence and establish their strengths.
