Building Social Confidence in Teens

Table of Contents

This Article Guides the Following:

  • What is social confidence?
  • What is the relationship between social anxiety and social confidence?
  • Signs of social anxiety in teens
  • Ways of overcoming social anxiety
  • Ways of learning social skills and strategies for building social confidence
  • Tips for Parents and Teachers to help teens suffering from Social Anxiety

Does your teenager find themself feeling anxious or uncomfortable in social situations? If so, they may be experiencing a lack of social confidence. Social confidence is essential in our daily lives, but it can be challenging to build, especially for teens with social anxiety. Fortunately, social confidence is a skill that can be learned and developed with practice. In this article, Key Healthcare shares tips and techniques for teens to build social confidence to feel more comfortable and controlled in any social situation. Also, we provide behavioral therapies during residential treatment in treating teen social anxiety, which has been efficacious for many adolescents.

Understanding Social Confidence

Let’s face it; social confidence is a desirable and attractive trait everyone desires— a prized treasure. As humans, we are social beings and social confidence can significantly improve our social mobility and quality of life. Public speaking, contributing to a conversation, meeting new friends, chasing that dream girl, and acing an interview are all instances where social confidence comes in handy.

But what exactly is social confidence? Social confidence is the sense of comfort in social situations and the expectation that others in the same social context will accept us. For example, if your teenager can walk into a room of strangers feeling relaxed and easily spark a conversation with the first person they meet, they have social confidence.

Social confidence is an elusive trait to many of us, especially teenagers. Many experience social anxiety, which makes it difficult to experience life better. In the next sections, we will dive deeper into aspects of social anxiety and how to overcome social anxiety and build social confidence.

Definition of Social Anxiety

You probably have a basic idea of what social anxiety is. Social anxiety (sometimes referred to as social phobia) is the feeling of insecurity, anxiousness, or shyness that makes a person anticipate the worst outcomes when engaging with people, including their peers and people they know.

Having some anxiety is completely normal because neurotransmitters like dopamine and adrenaline trigger it. But for some teenagers, social anxiety may be a disorder that is too much to handle. Teenagers with social anxiety disorder frequently avoid social interactions, leading to diminished social relationships.

Social anxiety is the most common anxiety disorder in the United States, and the prevalence among teenagers is 1 out of 3 teens aged between 13 and 18. Knowing how to respond to social situations can help reduce anxiety and feel more secure, improving your social confidence.

Causes of Social Anxiety in Teens

As a parent, it is your wish that your child grows up confident and self-assured because these are skills crucial in thriving in social places and overall well-being. Unfortunately, several factors may predispose your teenager to be socially anxious. Some teenagers are inherently shy, but other risk factors include:

  • Health or physical issues– Noticeable physical deformities, scars, or birthmarks may make teenagers less confident in their skin and more likely to avoid social interactions.
  • Speech problems– Speech impediments like stuttering, lisping, and voice disorders may cause a teenager low self-esteem. This makes them less likely to engage with others.
  • Parental styles- Recent research indicates that parenting styles may contribute to social anxiety disorders. Overprotective parents may deny the children adequate social interactions, thus, lacking the opportunity to learn the necessary social skills.
  • Bullying– Bullying may adversely affect a teenager’s social life as they are more likely to stay away from social interactions to avoid bullying.
  • Genetic factors– A teenager from a family with a history of social anxiety disorder is more likely to be socially anxious than others.

Signs and Symptoms of Social Anxiety in Teens

Picking out signs of social anxiety is the first step in helping your teenager overcome this disorder. Teenagers are less likely to express their social anxiety directly, so look for the following signs to take proactive measures to help them.

  • Being uncomfortable around people
  • Difficulty in having a normal conversation even with people they are familiar with
  • Speaking softly, mumbling, or stuttering over their words.
  • Being embarrassed after a brief interaction with people
  • Self-criticism after having an interaction with people
  • Difficulty in making and sustaining friendships
  • Avoiding public and social interactions like parties
  • Blushing, sweating, or shaking when around people
  • Physical symptoms of feeling nauseated and having muscle tension because of being around people

These are just a few examples of the signs of social anxiety that can significantly impair their daily lives.

Impact of Social Anxiety on Teens’ Lives

As discussed, social confidence is a crucial aspect of our daily lives. Some of the ways social anxiety disorder can impact a teen’s life include:

  • Missing out on opportunities- They may miss out on opportunities that would make them regret and disappointed with themselves. These include participating in extracurricular activities, building potential friendships, or missing opportunities to showcase their talents and skills.
  • Loneliness- Socially anxious people avoid interactions with people, which may make them isolate themselves. They may be too fearful to go on dates to make romantic relationships.
  • Poor school performance– Social anxiety makes it difficult for them to actively participate in class and make presentations, which may contribute to lower grades
  • Low self-esteem– The inability to interact with others may cause resentment toward themselves, opening Pandora’s box for other mental health issues.

Techniques to Overcome Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is not eternal condemnation. Some skills can be learned to overcome social anxiety, and the treatment options range from therapy to medication or both.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT)

CBT for teens is the most common approach to treating teen mental health disorders like social anxiety. CBT helps the teenager identify negative thought patterns and behaviors that fuel anxiety. It also helps teenagers understand the connection between their thought patterns and behavior. CBT teaches them to replace these unhealthy thought patterns with positive ones by providing skills and tools to manage their thoughts and behaviors.

Exposure Therapy

Exposure therapy is not as common as cognitive behavioral therapy but has been proven effective in helping teenagers with social anxiety. As the name suggests, the therapy gradually exposes teenagers to social situations they are afraid of while teaching them strategies to cope with the situation. It is founded on the belief that when one is constantly exposed to their fears, they are less likely to be scared by them in future encounters.

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction

Mindfulness is an approach that capitalizes on mental focus to help the teenager live in the moment. It involves helping the teenager to be aware of all thoughts and emotions and practicing acceptance and objectivity through acceptance and commitment therapy for teens. Acceptance and objectivity make them appreciate how they are and be confident in themselves. Awareness of their thoughts helps them replace negative thoughts with positive ones, thus helping them reduce stress.

The Role of Medication in Treating Social Anxiety

Some medications may be prescribed to teenagers to help reduce teen anxiety, especially if it significantly affects their functioning in normal daily activities. The medications typically target the part of the brain that processes emotions. Medications can effectively treat teen anxiety and improve social confidence when combined with therapy.

Common medications prescribed to help with social anxiety include Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) and Benzodiazepines. It is crucial to note that medications should be used cautiously and only prescribed by qualified mental health professionals. The teenager should also be closely monitored to avoid misuse of the prescription. Failure to do so may lead them to a rabbit hole of addiction.

The Importance of Seeking Professional Help for Social Anxiety

While it is possible to overcome social anxiety without the help of professionals, it is advisable to seek their support because they are in the best position to help from an educated and evidence-based point of view. Some of the causes may be due to underlying mental health issues, which they better understand how to diagnose and treat.

Building Social Skills

Teenagers with social anxiety are not eternally doomed. Social confidence is a skill that can be built over time with the correct guidance and practice. But what are these social skills, and how are they acquired? Let’s dig deeper.

Identifying Areas of Weakness in Social Skills

The first step in improving social skills is understanding areas of weakness and focusing on improving upon them. Weaknesses vary from one person to another. The most common are struggling to pick on social cues, body language, and understanding personal space. Other common issues include

  • Being overly literal and failing to pick on sarcasm
  • Talking too much
  • Using inappropriate ways to pass information
  • Poor listening
  • Failing to notice when people are disinterested or annoyed.

Communication Skills

Communication is the ability to convey ideas and feelings effectively. Good communication skills help build confidence in interactions with others, which can improve social relationships.

Good communication skills include active listening, use of non-verbal cues, and contextual communication. Active listening involves restating what you have heard to confirm whether there’s an understanding. Non-verbal cues convey ideas through wordless means like facial expression, body language, eye contact, gestures, and posture. Contextual communication involves communicating in different contexts depending on the people you are addressing.

Self-Care Practices for Building Social Confidence

Self-care means taking time to look after yourself to help you stay fit physically, mentally, and emotionally. Social anxiety may arise due to underlying mental health issues or being uncomfortable in your body. Activities that improve physical and mental health can help build social confidence.

Exercise and Nutrition

Taking care of your body involves eating right and staying fit. Exercising and participating in physical activities like sports can greatly improve a teenager’s social skills and build social confidence. Exercise can help boost self-esteem by making them feel comfortable with their body. Losing weight and gaining muscle mass are examples of how exercises can help improve your self-esteem by making you look better.

Participating in team sports like football and soccer can greatly improve social skills like communicating effectively and appropriately with other team members. Team sports also give people a sense of belonging to a particular group where they can learn important social skills from their teammates.

Healthy nutrition is another important aspect of managing social anxiety, both directly and indirectly. For example, healthy nutrition can indirectly help build social confidence by helping you lose or gain weight. Other types of food can directly contribute to social anxiety, so it is advisable to avoid them. Coffee is not good for people with social anxiety because caffeine is a stimulant that keeps the body heightened. It increases the heart rate, which can be detrimental to socially anxious people. Reducing sugar can also help reduce social anxiety because too much sugar can increase blood sugar levels, making anxiety more likely to follow.

Besides that, it is important always to drink plenty of water to stay hydrated. Dehydration may affect moods and cause fatigue and disorientation.


Sleep depravity and anxiety are interlinked, and both perpetuate each other. Lack of sleep can cause social anxiety, and social anxiety can also cause insomnia. This means that managing your sleeping time can help reduce social anxiety.

Reducing social anxiety is a more complex process that professionals handle better through therapy, but it is easier to manage your sleep which can help reduce social anxiety. Try creating a bedtime routine like reading a book, meditating a few minutes before bed, and going to bed at the same time every day to help you create healthy sleeping patterns that will eventually reduce anxiety.

Seeking Professional Help for Social Anxiety

If you or your child are experiencing symptoms of social anxiety that are interfering with your daily life, seeking professional help can be an important step toward managing your symptoms and improving your quality of life.

Seeking professional help doesn’t have to be a hard task. Start by openly and honestly conversing with your teen about their anxiety. Listen to their concerns and validate their experiences. Let them know that social anxiety is a common condition and treatable with the right support. Afterward, you can schedule an appointment with a mental health professional with experience treating social anxiety in teenagers, such as a psychologist, psychiatrist, or licensed therapist.

Key Healthcare offers multiple teen treatment programs for teens suffering from social anxiety disorders. The treatment options are individualized programs that cater to the needs of every teen and provide counseling on how to deal with their issues. Visit or call (800) 421-4364 to get more information on how to help resolve social anxiety issues for your teen.

Self-Help Techniques for Building Social Confidence

Building social confidence can be challenging, but many self-help techniques can be effective. It is important to note that the amount of time it takes to build social confidence varies from one person to the other, depending on the severity of the anxiety and how much effort a person is willing to put into building social confidence. You can help your teenager build confidence by encouraging them to utilize the following techniques:

  • Positive self-talk involves encouraging yourself with positive thoughts such as “I am good enough,” which can help boost your self-esteem and confidence.
  • Setting small goals- Small, manageable goals will help build social confidence. For example, start by simply trying to initiate a conversation with one person a day or joining a club that interests you.
  • Practicing social skills- Role-playing social situations with a friend or family member can help reduce anxiety and build social skills like effective communication.

Common Mistakes Parents Make When Trying to Build Social Confidence

Building social confidence isn’t easy; parents make the following mistakes.

  • Comparing to others- We are all built differently, each with strengths and weaknesses. Comparing your teen to others may bring them down and harm their self-confidence further. Instead, the focus on progress and achievements.
  • Avoiding social situations- Social confidence is gained through practice, and encouraging teens to avoid social situations can reinforce social anxiety. Gradually exposing them to social situations can help build social confidence.
  • Overthinking- Social interactions are not a matter of life and death, so there is no need to dwell too much on negative thoughts that can increase a teen’s social anxiety. Urge them to focus on the present moment and avoid overanalyzing situations.

Overcoming Specific Social Situations

Certain social situations are more likely to trigger anxiety and discomfort, which affects social confidence. Public speaking, networking events, and meeting new people are examples of social situations that many people find challenging.

How Teens Can Build Confidence for Public Speaking

Public speaking is a nerve-wracking experience not just for teens but also for adults. Teens can build confidence in public speaking using the following tips.

  • Practicing- Like many other activities, the more you practice your speech, the more comfortable you will feel speaking in public. Practice in front of a mirror or record yourself speaking and watch it back to identify areas for improvement.
  • Thorough preparation- Prepare your speech, gather information on your topic, and logically organize your ideas. Preparation makes you confident, and you can avoid mistakes you already anticipated.
  • Start small- Start with a small familiar audience like your family. When you get comfortable, you can try with other people.
  • Take deep breaths before the speech to help calm down and reduce anxiety.

How Teens Can Feel More Comfortable Networking at Events

Networking presents a chance to meet people that would be connections when applying for colleges, jobs, and other opportunities. It gives people an opportunity to learn from others and other people to get to know you. Networking events can be intimidating for many people, especially teens who may not have much experience with networking. The following tips may help you interact better at networking events.

  • Research ahead- Do your research to find out what kind of people, companies, or organizations you will likely meet at the event. It would be easier to engage with people you have an idea about what they do.
  • Prepare conversation starters- Having conversation starters may reduce anxiety when initiating conversations.
  • Follow up- Networking events are meant to create valuable long-term relationships. Following up with contacts after the event can help build relationships and increase confidence in networking skills.
  • Practice active listening- Active listening involves participating in the conversation by asking open-ended questions. This will help engage more and get to know more about others.

Online Strategies for Building Social Confidence in Teens

Technology has advanced so much in today’s world that online interactions have become an important aspect of social life. For teens with social anxiety, online communication and social media platforms can provide an opportunity to practice social skills and build confidence in a more comfortable setting.

Strategies for using social media and online communication to improve social skills and build confidence

Some strategies that can utilize online communication and social media to improve social skills include

  • Finding online communities- There are several chat groups and online forums of people who share similar interests. This can be a great way to connect with others and practice social skills in a supportive environment.
  • Joining social media platforms- Social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter can also be useful tools for building social confidence. Individuals can practice self-expression and develop a sense of social connection by sharing photos, updates, and thoughts with others.
  • Practicing Social Skills Online- Online communication provides a low-pressure environment where teenagers can practice social skills before applying them in real-life situations. For example, starting a conversation or responding to others online is easier than in practical situations.

Potential risks of using technology for socialization

We have already seen that online interactions can help build social confidence, but the internet can also be dangerous, especially for teenagers. It’s a good idea for parents and guardians to closely monitor their teenagers’ internet activities to protect them from harm’s way. The potential risks include:

  • Cyberbullying- Using social media and other online interactions can expose teenagers to cyberbullying, harming their self-confidence and mental health. Also, read how does social media affect teenagers.
  • Exposure to inappropriate content- Social media may also expose teenagers to violence, obscenities, and foul language, contributing to unruly behaviors.
  • Addiction- Addiction is not just limited to drugs. The constant use of social media can also be addictive and reduce productivity or performance at school, often leading to social media or internet addiction in teens.
  • Reduced face-to-face communication skills- Over-reliance on technology for communication can affect physical socialization skills.

Tips for Parents and Teachers to help teens suffering from Social Anxiety

For teenagers to overcome social anxiety, they need all the help they can get from people close to them. Parents and teachers are in a position of guidance and authority, placing them in the best position to help socially anxious teenagers. Here are some useful tips for parents and teachers to help teens suffering from social anxiety.

Recognizing Signs of Social Anxiety in Teens

The first step in helping them is realizing the problem. Teenagers may not openly say they have a problem, so looking out for the various signs of social anxiety is important. Some signs include avoiding social situations, excessive worrying about social interactions, and physical symptoms such as sweating or trembling in social situations.

Creating a Supportive Environment

A safe and supportive environment can help teens with social anxiety feel more comfortable and confident in social settings. Parents and teachers can create a safe and supportive atmosphere by showing empathy, avoiding judgment, and actively listening to the teen’s concerns.

Encouraging Social Activities

Building social skills requires practice, and social activities gradually allow teenagers to build their confidence. Parents and teachers can encourage social activities by organizing group activities, clubs, or volunteer work.


Building confidence takes time and effort, but it is totally worth it. You can help your teenager gradually become more confident in social situations by realizing the signs of social anxiety early enough and taking the appropriate measures outlined in this article. It may be a difficult journey, but professional help is always available as an option to help you throughout the process. With time, practice, and proper support, teenagers can overcome social anxiety and enjoy a fulfilling social life.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What is the difference between social anxiety and shyness?

Shyness is a personality trait that makes people feel nervous in social situations, especially with strangers. It is not necessarily a disorder, and most people experience shyness to some degree. Shyness is a momentary emotion that eventually passes. On the other hand, social anxiety is a disorder characterized by intense fear and anxiety in social situations. It is a persistent condition that makes people avoid social situations or endure them with significant distress. Social anxiety is distressing and may interfere with daily life.

What are the best social activities for someone with social anxiety?

Everybody has different comfort levels, and starting with social activities you are comfortable with and manageable is important. The best thing to do is to pursue activities that interest you. Join clubs or classes that focus on your hobbies or interests. For example, if you are interested in art, you can join teen art therapy sessions to express their feelings, and it would be easier to spark conversations. You can also go for physical activities like running and exercising, which may greatly reduce stress and anxiety.

Is social anxiety more common in boys or girls?

Social anxiety disorder is generally more common in girls than boys. This may be due to biological factors such as brain chemistry and hormonal fluctuations. However, socio-cultural factors also contribute to girls having more anxiety disorders than boys.

Can social anxiety lead to substance abuse?

Yes. People struggling with social anxiety may use drugs or alcohol to cope with their anxiety symptoms. They may use substances to help them feel more relaxed and comfortable in social situations.

How can I help my teen prepare for social situations that cause anxiety?

If your teen struggles with social anxiety, you can help them by validating their feelings and letting them know anxiety is normal. Afterward, you can gradually expose them to social situations and encourage them to face their fears. Start with the least challenging situations and gradually expose them to more challenging situations as they grow in confidence. You can also help by role-playing real-life situations to help them be more comfortable.

Is social anxiety a lifelong condition?

For many people, social anxiety is a condition that is manageable and treatable, but for others, it can be a lifelong condition. When left untreated, social anxiety can be a persistent chronic condition that significantly interferes with their daily life. Every person has a unique experience with social anxiety treatment, and the outcomes may vary. It is important to consult a professional to get the best treatment plan to overcome social anxiety and live more fulfilling lives.

Can social anxiety impact academic performance?

Yes. Students with social anxiety disorder may struggle in school because they do not actively participate in class discussions, find it difficult to present in front of the class, and are less likely to follow up with their teachers to seek clarification. Social anxiety can also cause test anxiety, making it difficult for students to perform on exams to the best of their ability.

How long does it take to overcome social anxiety?

The time taken to overcome social anxiety varies depending on the individual and specific situation. The treatment opted for also contributes greatly to the time it takes to recover. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is one of the most effective treatment approaches, but there is still no definitive time frame for recovery. It is also important to note that overcoming social anxiety is a gradual process that may be faced with setbacks on the way. Working with a mental health professional to determine the most appropriate treatment approach and duration based on your individual needs and circumstances is essential.

Can social anxiety be treated without medication?

Many people who want to help their teenagers overcome social anxiety are reluctant to have them under medication because of the risks of dependency on the drug or misuse. Fortunately, social anxiety can be treated without medication, and the approach includes various teen therapies, social skills training, and anxiety treatment for teenager. You should always work with a mental health professional to determine the most appropriate treatment approach and duration based on your individual needs and circumstances.